Draft wedding ceremony
for you to adapt
This draft is written with the idea that the couple will change it, personalise it, add to it and cut it down. If you want to discuss any aspect of a ceremony you want me to facilitate, don’t hesitate to contact me.
There are some people who cannot be here... [Mention may be made of very close family members who have died or are overseas.]
It might be useful to look through the notes on planning a wedding before working on this draft.
Celebrant:
We are here as the family and friends of Bride and Groom to celebrate their marriage.
This is a serious occasion. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly, but only after serious thought. It requires sincerity, honesty and mutual respect.
But although this is a solemn occasion, it is also an occasion of joy, because marriage is an expression of love, optimism, and life.
A marriage is not the beginning of a relationship. [You might want me to tell something of the story of your relationship.]
Groom and Bride have been important in each other’s lives for some time. But this service does mark an important point for them, and for their hope and ours that their relationship will go on in growth over the coming years—that it will endure and become even stronger over time.
Marriage is not an end to problems. No relationship is without troubles. But it is a commitment to face problems, to attempt to solve problem, and to rise above them. It is a commitment to try to do no wrongs to each other, but also a commitment to try to forgive the wrongs that are done.
Bride and Groom believe that marriage is … [fill in what you think marriage is, or adapt the following list.]
They believe that marriage is a partnership in which companionship, help, support, encouragement, love and comfort should be given and received.
They believe that marriage is the voluntary union of a man and a woman who trust one another, who love one another, and who want to share their joys and their sorrows and their plans, their home and their future.
They believe that marriage is a partnership, but it is not a dissolving of individualities. Marriage recognises an interdependence of man and wife, but also their independence, their right to their separate friends and opinions and ambitions.
They believe that marriage is the voluntary, full and exclusive commitment of a man to a woman and a woman to a man, entered into with the hope and the firm intention that it will last for life.
[Of course this introduction may not only be cut or changed, but also personalised in any way you choose. Perhaps you would like some reflection on the importance of love.
[After such an introduction you may like to have readings, poetry, or a hymn or other song, to reflect and explain to your friends and families something of your views about love and marriage.]
Celebrant:
Groom, do you of your own free choice wish to take Bride to be your wife?
Groom:
I do
Celebrant:
Bride, do you of your own free choice wish to take Groom to be your husband?
Bride:
I do
Celebrant:
You have all gathered here as the friends and family of Bride and Groom to witness this exchange of vows.
If you commit yourselves to do all in your power to support this marriage now and in the years ahead, then would you please now respond by saying, "We do"?
The gathering:
We do.
[Then if children of previous marriages are to be included in the service, this might be a good time for that.
[And then we might have the vows. The vows must be right for you. Usually the vows will be considerably shorter than the following. Only the first three lines are essential (and they can be changed a little, too, so long as the they are to similar effect)
Celebrant:
Groom, take Bride’s hand and say after me
Groom, following celebrant:
I, Full Name of Groom,
take you, Full Name of Bride,
to be my legal wife.
I call upon our families and friends gathered here
to witness that I love you.
I am committed to our marriage
I
promise to be your lover, companion and friend
Your ally in conflict
Your student and teacher
Your comrade in
adventure
Your consolation
in disappointment
Your accomplice
in mischief
Your strength in your need
I seek to share with you
a relationship of
love
and humour and
tenderness
I will always try to be open and honest with you
I will share my
life
and my worldly
possessions
and my thoughts and feelings with you
I will help you fulfill your needs
I will allow you
to be yourself
I will rejoice in
your growth
I will stand by you through our futures together
respecting you
supporting you
and enjoying
you
Celebrant:
Bride, say after me
Bride, following celebrant:
I, Full Name of Bride
take you, Full Name of Groom
to be my legal husbandI call upon our families and friends gathered here
to witness that I love you.I am committed to our marriage
I promise to be your lover, companion and friend
In good times and bad—
Your ally in conflict
Your student and teacher
Your comrade in adventure
Your consolation in disappointment
Your accomplice in mischief
Your strength in your needI seek to share with you
a relationship of love
and humour and tendernessI will always try to be open and honest with you
I will share my life
and my worldly possessions
and my thoughts and feelings with youI will help you fulfill your needs
I will allow you to be yourself
I will rejoice in your growthI will stand by you through our futures together
respecting you
supporting you
and enjoying you
Celebrant:
A ring—a circle—is taken as a symbol of endlessness,
and so of your hope that your marriage will last forever.
Groom, say after me
Groom, following celebrant:
I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love
and as a sign of my vows
Celebrant (quietly):
Now place the ring on Bride’s finger.
Bride, say after me.
Bride, following celebrant:
I give you this ring
as a symbol of my love
and as a sign of my vows
Celebrant (quietly):
Now place the ring on Groom’s finger.
[Then the documents might be signed, usually done at a table slightly to the side in front of the gathering.]
Celebrant:
Now, before we pronounce the couple married, the documents will be signed.
[After the signing of the documents the couple and their supporters stand together again in front of the gathering. There may then be some special ceremony of completion, such as lighting a candle together or breaking a glass, before the pronouncement.]
Celebrant:
Please stand. [If the gathering has been seated.]
Groom and Bride, you have freely expressed your wish to be united in marriage. You have made vows to one another before this gathering. The documents have been signed.
May your love deepen and grow through all the tests and joys that life has to offer you.
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
[And then if necessary the celebrant will give the couple permission to kiss.]
[Then the couple will move in procession with their supporters out of the ceremony, or otherwise the celebrant will say]
There will now be a chance for you to congratulate the couple.
[And everyone mingles.]
Other wedding-related sites:
Folksong Index (Airs, Anthems, Ballads, Canons, Ditties,Folksongs, Hymns and War Songs)
Old Poets—big collection of poetry
Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages (New Zealand). You can get the form to apply for a marriage license here.
The Knot: An American site to help plan weddings
© Bill Logan 2001